its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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