I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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