ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
