On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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