Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
