Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
