You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
