he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
