Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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