He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
