Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
