Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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