I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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