can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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