is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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