You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
