How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize