I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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