i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
