ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
