UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
