cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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