Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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