Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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