In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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