Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
