I could have mohawked her pubes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
