when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
