It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
