dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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