I hate your face
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
