I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
