i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
