Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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