Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
