I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
