You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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