Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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