Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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