'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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