david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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