Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
