my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
