It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
