Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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