I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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