booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
