Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
