i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
this will be a night to untag.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
