the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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