420 ftw
it was like his penis was on wheels.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
