I heard we made out
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
