No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
