one two three fourrrrnication!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
