Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
