STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
