please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
