My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
