he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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