I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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