don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We're too hungover to prance.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
