honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Even my vagina gasped.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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