i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
