i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
