I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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