it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So vagazzling was a success
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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