also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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