Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
